


Just a Notch in Your Bedpost

by Chronicles_of_Scout



Series: Kalex 2018 [3]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, kalex week 2018
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-17
Updated: 2018-10-17
Packaged: 2019-08-03 08:20:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16322639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chronicles_of_Scout/pseuds/Chronicles_of_Scout
Summary: Alex keeps kissing Kara and Kara... Kara's really starting to hate it.





	Just a Notch in Your Bedpost

**Author's Note:**

> The Jealousy bug. I usually do violent or angry jealous/possessive. Thought I'd turn the lights down low and ease you into this one. It's a softy.
> 
> Sugar We're Goin Down- Fall out Boy

** I’m Just a Notch in Your Bedpost **

The first time Alex had kissed her was when the boys at school had stopped seeing Kara as a freak and started seeing her as a potential mate.It was in her sophomore year of high school and she had just grown boobs.

A big deal by any teenagers’ standards.

Coby Frankton had leaned one hand against her locker after 3rd period and casually pressed himself as close as he could to Kara while asking her out.She’d politely said no.

Coby had been one of the boys making fun of her.

Why in all the universes would she ever wish to spend any amount of time with him?

Unbeknownst to Kara, Alex had overheard them and had waited for Kara to pass an empty room before hauling her into it.

It was the chemistry supplies closet, which made complete sense in retrospect since Alex was trying to get in extra time in the lab.

What had not made sense to Kara was Alex fisting the front of her shirt, slamming her back into the wall, and fusing their lips together in the most passionate kiss of her young life.

Granted, it was Kara’s _first_ kiss, but she had been certain, even then, that no kiss after would ever live up to it.

And then Alex had bitten her neck, not like a vampire, but a soft graze of her teeth that had made Kara shudder in ecstasy.

_Rao._

Kara’s bliss was apparently Alex’s disgust because she had yanked herself back, panting heavily as she glared at the spot on Kara’s neck like it had personally wronged her before turning those dark eyes to meet Kara’s.

“Don’t tell mom.”

And with those parting words, Alex had left her bewildered and more than a little aroused in a shady chemistry closet.

Alex had gotten a boyfriend the next day.

~*~

The next time Alex had kissed her, she had been on her way to college and there had been no boys involved.

It had been enough to give Kara the slight hope that maybe Alex had wanted _her_ this time.Not to prove some point or test out the alien before someone else got a try.

They’d been laying out on the roof and Kara had been telling Alex about the equivalent of college on Krypton; swearing yourself to a guild.Committing your life to practicing and protecting the knowledge that you found with your life. 

Alex had seemed less than impressed and had asked Kara what if she changed her mind midway?What if the guild she chose sucked?Alex’s words, not hers.

Explaining that on Krypton, everything was perfect seemed to irritate Alex, but Kara was sure that was because she didn’t understand.On Krypton they were genetically engineered to be compatible for certain things, their lives were steady and free of conflict because their DNA had prescribed it so.

It would have been the same with Kara’s marriage.The Matricomp would have selected a mate, one predisposed to her likes and dislikes and Kara would have been bound for life.

Divorce didn’t exist on Krypton.

There had never been a need.

Alex’s mouth had twisted, and she had turned to Kara suddenly, her hands gripping Kara so hard that, were she human, she would bruise.

“This isn’t Krypton Kara.”Alex growled, her anger palpable.“We don’t sentence you to a life of the same old shit on Earth.”

Kara had yanked her arms out of Alex’s grip, careful even then not to hurt the other girl. “No, you just play with each other’s lives like it’s all meaningless; like no one means anything but you.”

Alex opens her hands once, twice, and then she is once again bridging the gap between them and pressing a kiss to Kara’s lips.This one had been soft, caring, tender.

Had made Kara melt, and whimper, and _want._

“When I leave tomorrow, I need to leave knowing that you won’t let anyone else, but you decide your future.”Alex whispered between soft brushes of her lips.“You deserve so much Kara.This isn’t Krypton anymore.Promise me you’ll make your own choices.”

And Kara would have given her anything if it just meant she could stay here, like this.“I promise.”

Alex had pulled back, brushing hair out of Kara’s face and offered her a sad smile.“I love you Kara.”

She was gone before Kara could form her own reply, crawling through the window and walking out of their shared bedroom.

Kara had remained on the roof for several hours after, her throat working as she fought tears because…

That had felt like a _goodbye._

Alex had just told her goodbye.

“I love you too.” She whispered to the stars.

~*~

When Alex goes to college, Kara gets a boyfriend.

It doesn’t last.

Henry is nice, but he’s… not Alex.

It had felt like a betrayal.

Alex’s kiss and hands had seared themselves into Alex’s skin as surely as any Kryptonian vow and Kara couldn’t bring it in her to betray that.

Alex had no such qualms.

Kara never told Eliza about the pre-dawn phone calls she would get from a bartender or bouncer when Alex had gone a little too far; drunk a little too much.And Kara had always been Alex’s number 1.

At least that’s what the brunette slurred to her when she’d arrive.

Most times it was fine, and she was just dealing with inebriated Alex.

Others…

Others, Alex would be pressed up against a wall in the back of whatever seedy club or bar had decided catering to a minor was a good idea.There’d be some guy mauling her, large meaty hands pawing at Alex’s clothing while the woman panted into his mouth.

When Kara pulled her way those nights, her heart ached like she’d been punched, and she always fought back her tears until Alex was asleep.

“My girl,” Alex would murmur after Kara had forced her to cleanup and put on pajamas.“My wonderful girl, what would I do without you?I’d die Kara.”

She’d be especially clingy, and Kara would have to whisper words she barely knew if she meant anymore.“It’s ok Alex, I’m not going anywhere.”

But dammit this _hurt._

Why did Alex get to behave this way?

Why did she get to act out and have it be ok?

If Kara so much as glanced at someone else, Alex was trying to have them vetted by the Dali Lama.

It didn’t matter in the end; those nights always ended the same.

Alex would give a sexy dopy grin, pull her in and kiss the hell out of her.

“My girl.”She’d suck Kara’s bottom lip into her mouth, teeth stinging as she nipped the flesh gently.“I wish you were mine.I wish I could keep you.”

Alex never remembered what she’d said in the morning and Kara wasn’t about to tell her.No way was she going to give Alex anymore ways to hurt her.

~*~

It’s weird… not having her powers.

Alex had warned her it would be.

Right after kissing her.

And, ok, admittedly Kara couldn’t really blame her this time.

Between Red Tornado and Dr. Morrow, they’d both been in pretty dire situations.If Alex hadn’t kissed her, Kara definitely would have been cornering the agent in some hidey room where they could steal a few minutes alone.

The funny thing about the kiss—or rather _kisses—_ this time, had been that Alex had been desperate.

Kara too, her palms flattening against Alex’s neck and chest in an effort to feel the heartbeat that could no longer echo in her ears.

Kara hadn’t known what silence was since Krypton.

Those few seconds after she had taken out Red Tornado where she couldn’t _hear_ Alex…

She pushed the agent back, grabbing Alex’s hips and pulling them toward her as they crashed back into the wall.

Alex hissed, pulling Kara’s hair in retaliation and wrapping her arm tight across Kara’s shoulders.

“I was so scared.”Kara muttered between kisses.“I couldn’t hear you.Alex…”

“’S’ok.”Alex breathed, her mouth moving to Kara’s jaw, the lines of her neck.“I’m here Kara… God you’re so beautiful.”

She’d nipped the flesh there, Kara pressing them harder together, harder against the wall.

“So beautiful.”Alex said again, before she was sucking at Kara’s collarbone hard enough for liquid heat to shoot straight to Kara’s crotch.

_Rao._

Kara could only whimper, her body trembling as Alex tightened her grip.

Until Hank’s booming voice had startled them apart.

Luckily the Director of the DEO hadn’t _actually_ caught them in the act, his booming voice had just echoed quite loudly down the corridor and had given them enough warning to put themselves together before he came in.

The debriefing that followed was one of the most awkward in Kara’s life.She understood that Alex wouldn’t show any emotions in front of her CO but dammit.She was tired of this; tired of being cast aside like some dirty magazine once Alex had had her fill.

She’d wanted to tell Alex as much once Hank had left but then Alex had distracted her with those warm chocolate eyes, burning through Kara’s soul with her obvious desire.

It had been mayhem on Kara’s heart.

Especially when she realized that Alex’s hungry gaze had been focused on her collarbone.On the mark she’d left there.

Alex had stayed long enough to give her a small wistful smile, before following after Hank and sparking a new hope in Kara’s chest.

~*~

Even back then Kara had known it had been a bad idea.There was simply no other way to describe it other than ‘bad idea’.Her Aunt would have disowned her if she’d known what Kara had done!

Well, I mean technically she already had kind of but even more so.

Kara would have been forced to lick the urkin of a Klapnak for the rest of _eternity_ if Astra ever saw what her brief flight of fancy had resulted in.

She says brief because that’s what it had been.

Very brief.

At first she had wanted to wait for it to heal, and then Alex had been cranky about Eliza and Kara had been cranky about Astra and Alura, and so Alex had gotten pissed at Astra, and Kara had almost killed General Lane, and Alex had lost her shit about Hank and mixed in there she’d been more than annoyed about Lucy and James.

Especially James.

Because of the inappropriateness.

And dammit it wasn’t Kara’s _fault._

_James_ was the one with a girlfriend, not Kara.

_James_ belonged to someone, not Kara.

And it’s not like she was flirting with him, Kara didn’t even know how to flirt.She was simply nice and her usual dorky self and if James found that interesting then why should she have to change?

Because _he_ had no self-control?

Because suddenly it wasn’t Kara appreciating the male form from afar but James questioning his years long relationship with Lucy Lane, a bombshell in her own right, because Kara had what?Smiled at him?

How was that _Kara’s_ fault?

She hadn’t been the one looking at James, _he_ had been the one looking at her while Lucy looked at him! And, if Alex could just look at _her_ she would see that Kara had been looking at _Alex_ since high school!

But she hadn’t looked.

She’d gone on a date with Maxwell Lord instead, and Kara had had to learn about it as Supergirl from Lucy Lane.

It had not been a bright moment in her life.

There was no way Lucy didn’t know that Supergirl carried a torch for Alex now.Kara wouldn’t have been able to hide that level of hurt and betrayal if she’d tried.

So yeah, it had been a bad decision.

And she wasn’t about to make another.

Alex had made her decision over and over again and it had always been that she didn’t want Kara.

She’d run away every time.

There was a reason for that; Kara wouldn’t psychoanalyze it until she found a flaw in herself, but it was good to know.

Kara would only ever be a Danvers through adoption.

That would be ok one day.

~*~

When Kara had finally calmed down from the RedK, Alex had helped her into comfy DEO sweats and taken her home.It was clear that Alex had no intention of leaving and every intention of talking when she ordered them Indian and got out the good wine.

Indian food was pricey and, given how much Kara ate, considered a delicacy in the Danvers’ household.

For Alex to be willing to splurge meant that she meant business.

So Kara mentally prepared herself while she showered and got dressed in her own clothes.

Under the hot spray of water, she argued that Alex couldn’t get angry with her because she hadn’t been herself.Reasoned that she would apologize again and again until Alex understood.Not everything but enough.

Enough that they could keep the sisterhood that Eliza had forced upon them and that Kara had come to learn was all she would receive from the badass beauty.

It was ok.

It was all going to be fine.

Alex had forgiven her for worse.

Forcing back thoughts of Jeremiah, Kara steeled herself and strode out into the living room just as the food arrived.

Alex placed the bags down on the table and took in Kara’s appearance.

“You look like you’re preparing for war.”She observed, carefully pulling boxes out of the bag.“Do you want to eat at the table or—”

“The table.”Kara said and sped over to an empty chair.The table would offer her a barrier in which Alex wouldn’t be able to reach her.

Alex hummed and continued distributing the food.

She didn’t start talking until she had sat down, her fingers tearing pieces of naan and popping the soft dough into her mouth.

“You know,” she started, “I’m not jealous of you.I don’t tell you how to dress because I think you’ll outshine me.I’m pretty certain you do that without even trying.You can’t dim the sun Kara.”

Kara blushed and ducked her head, mumbling something about knowing that Alex wasn’t jealous and apologizing for being such an egotistical ass on RedK.

“I had to take your vitals.”Alex said when she went silent, her feet reaching out and grabbing Kara’s leg.“DEO procedure states that we have to wash the subject, make sure the contaminant is secure, get accurate readings… the works.”

“Makes sense.” Kara muttered into her food.

“It does.” Alex agreed.“Except I wasn’t expecting to see a tattoo on your chest.”Kara freezes her fork clattering on the solid wood of the expensive table Alex had gifted her.Alex nodded slowly, taking a sip of her wine before putting more bread in her mouth.Alex always made sure to eat her share of the naan first since Kara couldn’t help herself once it was her turn.“I thought it was a smudge of dirt at first, then a bruise, and then when I saw the writing underneath… well I was pretty sure that the RedK you was going to have a lot of explaining to do.”She twisted her lips up, her expression wry as she nudged Kara’s calf with her foot.“And they say you’re the naïve one.”

Kara couldn’t even laugh.“You translated it.”

It wasn’t a question, but Kara hadn’t meant it as such because if Alex was looking at her like this; with something akin to pity on her face…

“No.” Alex finally said after a long stretch of silence.“I _would_ like to know what it says but only when you’re ready to tell me.”

She offered a kind smile, and Kara could only tilt her head in confusion knowing her crinkle must be extremely pronounced at this moment.

“Then why are you…”

Shrugging Alex took another drink from her glass.Longer this time.“I just… I got to thinking about RedK, and what you said… about us not being sisters…”Alex blinked, shifting her eyes everywhere before inhaling sharply and meeting Kara’s gaze head on.“Somewhere along the way I lost your trust; I can take a few guesses as to what I did but… I’m _sorry_ Kara.For everything.I have never once— _ever—_ wanted to hurt you.Not ever.”

For some reason that makes Kara angry.Angry enough to break a chunk of wood out of the table in front of her.

“Are you always this dense or is it just for me?”

Alex balked, mouth dropping.“Kara—”

“No.I don’t— _you_ don’t get to do that.I—it’s a hickey.”She states, standing and placing her palms flat on the table so she’s glaring down at Alex.Her heart is pounding and a part of her brain niggles, worrying that this is the RedK again, but Kara knows it’s not.This is months— _years—_ of Alex _running._

She’s sick of it.

“Kara.”

“Saying my name isn’t going to change it.It’s a hickey.”Kara keeps her gaze fierce watches something inside Alex break and she celebrates.For a second before she realizes what she’s doing.Breaking Alex as certainly as Alex had broken her.She sighs and collapses back into her chair, arms crossing over her chest as she blinks up at her ceiling fighting tears.“It’s _your_ hickey Alex.”

There’s a long pause, before a broken voice whispers, “what?”

Because of course Alex didn’t understand. _Kara_ didn’t understand; what she had been thinking; why she had thought _this_ would work.

“You kiss me sometimes.”Kara mumbles, dropping her head between her shoulders as she hunches in on herself, her socked toes scuffing at the wood floors.“You kiss me, and you run away; you make up an excuse.You’re always so rough, like you want… like maybe if you could… I thought that if I could make your mark permanent than maybe you’d stop running.You’d see that… that I wasn’t going to change my mind.That I was going to choose you.That I already had.That I was…”

A chair scraped against wood, Alex’s soft footsteps echoing through the apartment before she’s kneeling in front of Kara and pushing the curtain of hair hiding Kara away.

“That you were what?”

Kara shrugs, hopeless, despondent.“Doesn’t matter.You made it clear that I’m not—”

“Kara, I swear if you finish that sentence—”

“You went on a date with Maxwell Lord!”Kara accused, angry again as she stood up and almost knocked Alex on her ass.“You don’t get to judge me.”

Alex’s face was shocked and hurt and Kara hated it.

“I think you should go.”She said, hugging herself again, fingers pressing against her elbows harshly as her eyes blurred.“Now please.”

And for a second Kara thought her request would finally be heard, that it wouldn’t be Alex running away but Kara sending her away.

Severing the tie.

Finally.

Alex wrapped around her from behind the sneaky bandicoot.

Her voice was soft, her hands resting over Kara’s as she brushed her lips against the back of Kara’s neck.

The first tear fell, Kara’s body trembling in her arms.

“When we were kids,” Alex started, “and Coby asked you out I knew it was only going to be a matter of time before the whole school was lining up to get to know you; to learn to love you; take you away from me.I kissed you because… because I wanted to remind you that I was _yours_ first.That I was the one who cared about you before any of those idiots.Except I didn’t know how to say that with words so I just... kissed you but… I couldn’t keep you locked away.All you’d ever wanted was friends and I wouldn’t stand in your way, so… I let you go.”

Kara tried to turn but Alex held firm, forehead pressed to the base of the Kryptonian’s skull as she continued.

“When you told me about Krypton… Kara I—I didn’t have a matricomp, a perfect computer to match my shitty DNA to you.If we were on Krypton… Kara I wouldn’t stand a chance.I hated that. Hated that on every damn planet we could survive on, I’d still lose out to someone else.Someone you thought of as better.So I yelled, and I tried to convince you that you had a choice: _me._ Only I fucked that up too and I just made you cry instead.”

“Alex—”

“Shh.”Another soft kiss, “I know I kissed you when I was drunk and a mess.I didn’t say anything because you deserved so much better than that.What right did I have to say that you were mine when I couldn’t even—” Alex choked on a sob, her arms squeezing tight and Kara had enough.She broke Alex’s hold and turned and cupped her human’s face kissing her and trying to sooth the absolute devastation from Alex’s words.

“It’s ok.”She mumbled, “we’re ok Alex.Don’t cry.Please don’t cry.”

Alex shook her head.“Kara, after you blew out your powers—”

“Shh,” Kara kissed her again, wanting nothing more than for Alex to stop crying, to know she was loved and none of the awful things she was saying about herself.

“No Kara.I love you.I _have_ loved you… I just didn’t want to ruin your life anymore than I already have.”

Kara pulled back, incredulous, still holding Alex’s head in her hands.“Are you kidding?”At Alex’s imploring look Kara shook her head, brow furrowed in denial.“Alex you didn’t ruin my life you saved it.You saved me.”

Kissing her again, Kara tried to release everything she had held inside for the past decade.All her fears and hopes, and _love._

“Kara…”Alex breathed.“I’m so sorry.I’m so selfish.”

“So am I.”Kara insisted, pressing Alex back against the counter.

“I want you all to myself.To be mine.”

“I am.”Kara promised, nipping along Alex’s neck and drawing a sharp cry. _Rao,_ if Alex sounded like that _now…_

“I shouldn’t.”Alex argued, tugging on Kara’s hair and pulling her head back up to meet her lips.“You always belonged to the world.It’s not fair of me to—”

“I don’t care about fair.”Alex tasted like garlic and wine and Kara was in heaven.“I care about you.I’ll be yours and you be mine.Only.We’ll be each other’s.”

Alex laughed and ducked her head to press against Kara’s shoulders, body shuddering from everything they had just revealed to each other.Kara held her close, rocking her slightly and feeling finally like she had a home.

“Always.”Alex finally exhaled.“I will always be yours Kara Zor-El.”

Kara beamed and buried her face in Alex’s hair, inhaling deeply.“It’s yours.”She whispered.“The tattoo is your mark, from when I blew my powers out and the word is your name; my mate.Alex Danvers.”

Alex wriggled her arms between them and pressed her hand over the mark.“It was never about this.I never needed this.I just wanted… I wanted you to be _mine._ I didn’t know how to ask.”

“Ask now.”

“Kara—”

“Yes.”The blonde proclaimed, pulling back to smother Alex’s face in kisses.“I will be yours Alex Danvers.Always.”

Alex laughs and Kara makes a mental correction as she spins the laughing woman up into her arm and heads to the couch to finish their night watching movies and pigging out on the remaining food.

_Now_ she feels like she has a home.


End file.
